Midday Madness

       Whoa, Hello. I just had my midday salad meal and shake. Tonight I will have some low sodium chicken broth. I feel a little funny because I am actually sticking to this. Oh wow it has been one day. One day. It is a great day today. Have not gone outside. I may go out and get the mail later. Came across an interesting topic I want to talk about.
       "The lies and denials that are used to cover-up a transgression can do much more damage than the violation itself." this statement is from the following article:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201206/betrayal-it-s-not-just-about-infidelity-0
Ah yes juicy betrayal. My spin on it is if you lie or do something dirty, fess up. Shit. I will talk about this more later. Thanks for reading me.

I am going to post these videos I made 1 year ago when I started my weight loss regime. As I said a year goes by fast. What it took me a year to lose 5 pounds. Too funny. It is 8:13 now. End of the night. Time for my chicken broth. Going to have a small cup of tomato juice also. Day one almost complete. As I go along I will tweek this as I need to. Adding to the blog seems to give me a sense of control that I never had before. I guess I can look at the stupid things I am doing and make sense of them. Never went outside. LMAO oh well, I guess I will get the mail tomorrow. Night.

 

Super Happy To Be Here

      The meatball sandwich was really good. I added sausage,diced tomatoes and cheese. Later that evening I baked a vanilla layer cake with butter cream frosting. Shucks, I am supposed to tell you about myself today. Well I am a 53 year old mother of three. A grandmother of five. I have a Master's Degree in Criminal Justice and Security Administration. About a month before I finished my degree I had a stroke and went blind in my left eye. Needless to say that put a cramp in my career since I carry a weapon for work. My papers are sitting in a drawer and have been there for 4 years. I have spent most of this time recovering from a series of very painful eye surgeries. Trips to the doctor. Diabetes, weight gain, high blood pressure, anxiety, panic attacks, meds, insulin, depression, therapy Blah, Blah, Blah. I am by no means belly aching but it is important for you to know how I got to this point in my life.
       You wake up one day and say how long can I ride this train to no where? The last stop is tonight. Tomorrow, I always put it off for tomorrow, I walk away form this ride and free style to my happy spot where ever that may be. Everyone blogs for a different reason. For me it is a way to express my option and not really care what anyone thinks about it. I welcome comments, but at the end of the day I must do this with a hardcore determination. If I could have one thing it would be to loose 100 lbs. The insulin makes it next to impossible to loose the weight. But nothing is impossible. Funny I have tried in the past with some success. Now I will succeed. I know this because through trial and error I have devised a method to reach my goal.
        My plan is quite simple. A shake in the morning, a low carb meal in the afternoon, and a light snack such as tomato juice or nuts early in the evening. My only need for insulin will be with my meal in the afternoon verses insulin with every meal when I eat three times a day. The doctor has me on liquid metformin which I take with my one meal. It is not my intention for this to be a diet blog. There are enough of those out there already. I will update this for my own personal info and to chart my progress. Weight today?  250 lbs 5"5" size 22 My goal 150 size 12 so I am not being unrealistic. I have noticed lately that a year goes by in a blink of an eye and next year I will have reached my goal.
      I have noticed that a lot of people use religion to justify a lot of their actions. Case in point, the power of prayer. I always thought your prayers were supposed to be for meaningful things like the health and well being of your family. Why is it that people are praying that there toe nail polish looks good with their new sandals? Or when someone posts about their order of fries was cold, someone replies "just pray about it girl" I will always go back to social media because it opened my eyes to the level of stupidity that exists. I want to vomit from some of the things and the pics and vids that get posted.
      Often when I wake up, I am surprised that I have lived another day. Then I wonder what I can do to make this day a little better. I actually left the house and went to the store today. I am going to get ready for my big day tomorrow. Thanks for reading me.

Me in 1983. Yeah I know almost 30 years ago 😉

 

 

     

         It is 12:04 am. I am sitting here thinking about the meatball sandwich that I will be having for breakfast. Yes, for breakfast. No other thoughts are going through my mind. I have been asleep off and on during the day. Wandering around the house during my waking hours, pretending to be busy. If I make my bed one more time! If I watch another DVD my head will explode. I realized today I do the same damn thing everyday of my life. It is sad when you find yourself boring.
       While thinking about my meatball sandwich I realized that I could be blogging about my corny  existence. My corny existence and what I plan to do to remedy this situation. It would probably be as simple as going outside and walking around the corner to find some type of meaning in my life. No I am not suicidal or crazy, just bored. This is my first blog so I will make it short. I have personal goals I have set for myself. I always convince myself I will start tomorrow. So I will start tomorrow. Blogging about it will no doubt make it easier to stay on track. So sick of Social Media. My friends and family posts are toxic. Wine, bitch, cry and moan is the sum total of what I see posted. I do not want to see another pic of your stupid ass dog driving your car. I know my life is boring when I recognize your dog on Facebook and know him by name. Really? I wonder if your dog would like a bite of my meatball sandwich?
      Yes I can be very dry and sarcastic. But you know I am telling the truth. Bitch if you are at the gym how are you able to take pics? Not one drop of sweat and you still look fat. Stop post about your dead relatives birthday. "Happy Birthday to Uncle Jack in Heaven", Really? And you baked a cake for him, and yall having a party, drinking and shit in memory of Uncle Jack. SMDH How about you stop naming your grandchildren Shamackia, Jordancia, and Allensampa. Really? Please stop this right now. Those babies are going to have a hard enough time in life.
       Let me ask this question, how does a picture of your 6 month old grandson driving your car get more likes than a story about bombing that kills 20 people? I know the obvious solution is to delete my page and move on. Ummm that is not an option. I use social media to stay in touch with my family and friends. It is a catch 22. Wow look at the time. It is 12:41 am. I have got to take out the ground beef for my meatball sandwich. I know video blogs are the rage right now. I do not think I am as witty in a vlog. Good night and I will be back with more info about myself. Thanks for reading me.

   Oh look, it is pic of my daughter and I at the gym. LMAO